experience the l.o.v.e.

有位心理学家曾写道，一个成熟称得上真爱的恋情必须经过四个阶段，那就是：
共存 　　
反依赖 　　
独立 　　
共生
之间转换所需的时间不一定，因人而易。
　
第一个阶段：共存。
这是热恋时期，不论何时何地总希望能腻在一起。 　　

第二个阶段：反依赖。
等情感稳定，一方想多一点时间做自己想做的事，这时另一方就会感到被冷落。 　

第三个阶段：独立。
这是第二个阶段的延续，要求更多独立自主的时间。 　

第四个阶段：共生。
这时新的相处之道成形，你们已经成为最亲密的人。
你们在一起相互扶持、一起开创属于你们人生。
你们在一起不会互相牵绊，而会互相成长。
他（她）就像是你的亲人。
　　
但是，好多人都通不过第二或第三阶段，选择分手。　　
其实很多事只要好好沟通就会没事，可是想太多和任性就是无法避免。
　　
世界上遇到唯一的你多么不容易，能不能不要轻言放弃。

你发现了吗？
你们本没有相同之处，外表不相像，性格也是南辕北辙，
但是相爱然后在一起，
日复一日，年复一年，
你会惊讶你的眼睛竟有点像他的眼睛。
他的微笑竟也有点像你的微笑。
你们走路的步伐变得相似。
你们说话的语气也愈来愈像。
你们爱喝同一杯饮料。❤
你们的口头禅变得一样。
你们总能猜到对方下一句话是什么。
原来我们会变成我们所爱的人。 　
　你在不知不觉中让他改掉了他爱皱眉的坏习惯。
这个改变，或许连他自己也不曾察觉。 　　
他在不知不觉中让你变得做事不再马马虎虎。
你差点认不出自己。
会在不知不觉中逐渐变成对方理想中的人，
这种改变，绝对不是刻意的。
两个人相处时间越久，气质也越相近，
有一天，你惊讶地发现，
这样的你们多么默契。
或许再也遇不到这样的感情。
深深爱着一个人的时候，你原来真的会一点一点失去自己，
可是为什么你还会觉得快乐呢。
大概是因为你在失去的同时，也赚了，
你把他的气质和他的微笑都赚回来了。


Suddenly think of this article.
Sorry to my dear,
My attitude to you was seriously bad since July.
once I came to NUS, new environment, new live, new friends and everythings are new. I was busy with all the orientation stuffs, activities and also group supper. I couldn't online and don't have time to online, once I got back to my room,it's already midnight or past midnight then I'll just bath and sleep.
It's even worse when the semester starts, I started to busy with my hall activities, sport trainings every monday to wednesday night, meetings and also suppers.
whenever you find me, I just simlpy responded with short replies. Sorry, I know you felt awkward but still I treated you the same way everytime you find me.
to be honest, I lost my care and love to you for that moment. I feel that I couldn't hang onto this long distance relationsip anymore, I need someone beside me, I need someone to lean on, but I couldn't have all these in our ldr, for once, I feel like giving up and doubt about our relationship. I'm sorry :(
Yet, we hang on to each other and you never give up on me.
I realized I'm trying to be independent all the while since I was here in NUS, hence I tend to ignore you,sorry. But then, I found out that I still need you, I'm tired of trying-to-be-independent me, I couldn't stand the days being alone, strong and independent, I still need you. Then the images of our memories came across my mind, from the days in 4s9, maple story, gatherings, apartment stays until now....
I found my feelings and love back again :)

Here I am, to share my thoughts, just like what I posted,
"don't give up easily, hang on and you will be suprised by how far you can go.."

Luckily we both never give up and you never force me when I refuse to answer some of your questions.
Sometimes, we just need times to chill and gain back the feelings, don't give up easily, if not, I think we might ended up at stage 2.

老 uncle, I think we are at stage 4 now, right?
:p

Waynie, thank you for caring about our relationship and also thanks that you never force me also.. I'm sorry. :(
But we are fine now, don't worry :)
bout you and KT, I think I don't have to worry since you both are ssssoooo SWEET nowadays! keep it on and don't be like me ok?
love ya! muahxx!

to all the couples in the world, don't make decisions too fast and don't give up because of small problems, give each other some times and calm down.

Best wishes to everyone!
:)












xoxo Jen xoxo